"She deserves a moustache."

  Some of us younger girls were flabbergasted that the older girls were being so nasty towards us.  

  "Took every pill in the house."

  "That's really dramatic."

  "And expensive."

  As far as they were concerned it hadn't been cruelty to switch pills collected at a doorway of a party with hormone pills.

  "Didn't even notice for two months."

  "Where the hell have you people been?"

  The mud was everywhere.

  Dried red clay mud.  In spatters and slides.  Abandoned clothing was stiff with the stuff.  Seemed like there was a hardened footprint or tire tread every five inches in every direction.

  An old lady had sat inside the doorway and pointed her cane in the direction of the drugs.  "That'll be in the expense column," a father said of the two inch thick mud on the path through the house.  "It's like having two carpets, quite complaining."

  "We are way past complaining." 

  "This whole thing is on-real," a twenty-something said.

  "Oh LOOK....that one grew a whole beard!"

  A young woman in a teeshirt and bathingsuit felt her hairy, furry hairy face.  She screamed and scattered the contents of a pillow backpack.  "Oh. My. God." She said to the compact.

  Out the back door the steps were practically a mud slide.  "Holy shit." 

  "Surely it's not shit too."

  Other parents were gridding a field, collecting things in post-storm-clean-up-buckets.  A mini skirt was skewered and held up in the sunlight.  A head poked out of a tent.  "The bathing suits worked!" 

  "Another smiling virgin?" 

  "Yeah, just sleeping in.  Thanks." The young boyman grinned.

  "We done good kid."

  "Except for those that seem to have really turned into party animals." The old woman emphatically winked.

  If it hadn't been for the Church Ladies the plan would not have worked.  I thought back on all the work we'd done on ourselves and in relation to each other and suddenly felt exhausted.

  Oh my gosh, little kids were saying near the edge of the forest where the unicorn's horn was laying on the ground.  A little girl cried.  A small boy demanded to know, What exactly happened?!

  A young woman with a serious face but also a huge smile sometimes started to explain how the unicorn got soooooo famous for being soooooo loving and kind when she wasn't fighting to defend innocents, well, they all came 

  To hunt her?

  To trap her?

  To kill her?

  Oh noooooo honies.  Bigfoot would never let anything or anyone hurt the unicorn!  They just, well, they wanted to be loved too.

  Would the unicorn love us????

  Sure would.  In fact I saw that older, old unicorn knee deep in the muddy trenches in the war on good people.  

  You did?

  She nodded and you could tell she was kind of in awe of the unicorn. 

  That unicorn pointed people in the direction where they wanted to go.  And tripped bad people in the mud.  And, demanded that people look inside THEMSELVES instead of fighting each other over stupid stuff.

  But where did she go?

  The young woman looked into the woods and said, Maybe, she went home with Bigfoot.

  Did he leave any big footprints?

  He may have.  Let's start looking.

  "Apparently," Someone said inside the tent, "That was a typical Friday night, traffic-wise, since quote, they put that fucking highway in."

  "Have you seen a woman in a polka dot dress?"

  A guy gathered all the spit in the back of his throat and hucked it up and out onto the muddy grass.  "'Pends."

  "On what?"

  "What I get for giving out infomation."

  "I ain't got nothin'."

  "Come on.  We gotta find her."

  "I seen a dress and I seen a woman but didn't look to me like they was together."

  "You're a jerk."

  "Reckon they say so."

  "Look out she just beat up a raft all night."

  "Beat up a raft?"

  "Better boxer than Brian when he drinks."

  The sun was cracking the landscape into murky and clear.  "Were you wearing a polka dot dress?" 

  "I ain't worn a dress since Prom."

  "One and done."

  She thought back to the previous day.  "It was Norah!  She came with the Church Ladies!"