The tank?

  That year was hairpin turn on the road to getting politically settled.  And like every year all of life was/is ongoing.  In some ways before people do things wrong or incorrectly or not as best as we might there's a lot of build up and a co-measurate "abundance of caution" so for people entrenched in life-saving and safety-tending there's ready for anything.  There was also a lot of proving going on.

  Between proving ourselves worthy of investment, proving we had done the work--even in a largely chaotic to form environment, proving I'm NOT him, proving potential, proving self to self, proving I CAN...and fighting poverty, storm damage, a  falling short of the myth of things (like we're "great") us individuals were being torn apart.  Torn apart wasn't helping anything.  It compounded hungry, sick, and tired!

  I guess it was time and God that unfurled as Old Glory or unfurled us all, from immigrant to soldier, as a living Old Glory because as we made way through each day and night the chaotic feelings and acts per impossible cleared.  Lists, missions, objectives, some sorting of tasks to talent and duty...and people explaining why.

  Still for all the facts clarifying there were versions.  And there was something else, harder to name but why we came up with "hometown hero".  The National Guard was on the move--even before anybody could/would say so.  How do you know? I asked a guy I trusted because he's also a realist, especially on a rollercoaster of optimism/pessimism.  He and I were making a generator gas run.  All along the roads there were T'see tree markers of where a National Guard person had forged way and made it to mustered.  While he was showing me something evidentiary, and the facts of things getting better were matching up to all of us making things better, I saw those pieces of tree like poetry or music, or something so much more profound than just storm-destroyed tree.

  It had taken some time.  And every person who came as one person had a tale involving sometimes a lot of others, identifiable and unknown, all kinds of people.  No ordinary communications possible.  At camp people were able to restore somewhat--sleep, a little bit of food, maybe some water.  Internationals, non-Guard citizens, soldiers in other branches of the Armed Forces and other armies of the world...all proving resiliance and moving forward despite trashed finances, ruined homes, hadn't been sures about direction...moving into the next day and the next day.  Moving in grief and shock and uncertainty by being selves and those selves aligning with others (and keeping to self) to achieve.  Little things, big things....

  Like getting that tank to its mountain resting spot.  Like showing a person with extreme political views "where the turkies walk" so the person wouldn't get hurt by people with different extreme political views--a sort of back door for safety's sake.  Like moving a field hospital halfway round the world.  Like mitigating: I won't take that person's chainsaw, family guy, even though I could.  A grandmother eating for the first time in ten days.  Letting someone borrow a fishing pole and not belittling in asking, You do know how to use this particular kind?

  We were part of a Tennessee spirit forged by people part of State and Country.  As other state Americans we were impressed.  Some of the visiting foreigners and in-process im/migrants were blown away impressed.  No better diplomacy than being part of function!

Been the worst kind of year

  for that sort of thing.  We're ALL crazy, we're ALL homeless criminals, we're all a burden on the businesses we power, we're all trash.

  I recommend getting uplifted by someone else who is not a fellow human trying to find the floor and clear the covered in all American citizens.

  But I don't think some people crying, wall, wall, deport, deport is gonna do it.  This realignment will start with voting and have to progress as the majority asserting, re-asserting we can't be this mob.  We have to live by Law.

  When an admin makes that impossible for the average person, other citizens have to make process and make that law.  Otherwise we're not able to stay actual citizens in an actual nation, we're ALL just whatever.

  I am glad I have at this point in my life tough enough skin to know that neither myself nor any other human is trash.  Harris running to the microphone and telling everyone, he just called us trash, kind of reverberated the notion for me and it kicked around in my head for a while but I slept it off.  What I knew for sure was that I am not deaf, I heard it from the horse's mouth; I am not in the Harris possee so I didn't feel compelled to act; and we're just not trash.

  People are really ready to switch gears I think.  Get out of the hype-mode of campaigning.  I know I am.  

  So much of life is like seventh grade.  I was a hot mess on the inside and Sister Rose kept making us classify everything under the sun as parts and pieces of wholes and named, named things.  The Latin, the American (a mix of old, middle, French, Greek), the scientific, the slang.  All that categorizing filled up my head and didn't leave much room for hot mess.  It was hard.  It was a lot to learn.  And then I went through a phase of reality not really being any of those labels!

  I guess all the two-party build up coming out of mob and loss of self to various forms of socialism-like is twanging my brain.  We're being accosted by branding at this point and have to reassert our humanity.

  Went through that process again and again as a young person.  Squishy boundaries.  Especially in regards love.  But also with stuff like drinking.  All squishy, cool, until running over a goat (just kidding, but) or falling for some punk getting me into fist-fighting.  Take things as far as they'll go in "experimenting" and then.

  Friends were always helping friends reorganize.  Find self in the remains of a mosh pit.  Lessons learned.  Move on.  Look at that guy, he'll not get that eyeball back.

  Lots of prayers.  And believing that forgiveness is forgiveness.  That was part of maturing too.

It is hard to describe, but

   it doesn't have ti be a confusing mess.  Peoples' faith holds them sway.  Routine works for a lot of people.  There's medicine.  And, persinal fave--creativity!

  Even colonials had a hard time with colonialism.  I mean that is why we birthed a new nation.

  We've never been socialist or communist and have had collective run ins, glances, heard all about its about people who have to live that way, and that has only strengthened resolve to stay American.

  There were old raging debates about rational v "feelings" that endeavored to seal gray areas shut, and yet, some people do wrestle with compassion.  Compassion in all matters is extremely challenging.  And it seems like we've only incrementally added compassion to otherwise brutal situation.  While there's accusation that human nature is brutal, even in cultures that never knew about Jesus, there is evidence and witness to something other than brutal.

  A lot of youthfulness in life is about just that.  That's not being a socialist and has not necessarily anything to do with "socialism".

  Nor is "social media" or "socializing" necessarily form of socialism.

  Just like the words liberty and freedom there is texture and contour and other characteristics to the word "socialism".  It is not a blanket or a net for the McCarthy types to use in a round up of everyone but themselves.  To discuss the concept is not contagion.  Even to compare one political way to it will not turn someone into it.

Gotta go to work.  Have a good day.

  I will tell you that as kids we were so afraid of it and so afraid of being it, we worked up the nerve to ask permission to eat "salsa".  Our mom said finally, "Okay, we can try it.  But that's pushing it." We all studied Dad's face after he got through not trying something new.  He liked it!  Even licked the little dish when we emptied the jar while describing the experience.

  As an adult I've always found the antidote to the grip of a delusional socialism as an American to be realism.  That's what motivates me to talk with all kinds of people and read and write.

  Sometimes in the midst of political transition for us we have not a tabula rosa but a deveiling of the emperor's clothes.  For example, businesses can't take the place of a doling out government; so there's a big adjustment while people see where we are realistically.  I know I can't afford to eat out much.  That's just realistic.  And survival of self doesn't work very well when what money I do manage to generate as income goes for somebody else to eat.  Just doesn't work realistically.

  The theory is the same for nation as it is for individual.  We have to be realistic about getting involved militarily for instance.  It's heavy stuff, but to be imaginary about life doesn't really survive people either.  So, here we are.

I strongly disagree

  with the notion that Trump is a would-be fascist.  I think we are, as a nation, so drenched in socialism right now, "they" that are saying that are calling their end game out.  It could be a natural progression to go from 20+yr war nation, mired in debt, and smothering in togetherness to go fascist.  Like all the factors are in place to support a dictator stepping onto a podium.  Snap a photo and call it a day.  New dictator in place and lots of dumbed-down, helpless, collateral damage, and commodity "voters" just raise a thumb.

  Maybe they're hoping he is.

  He's not.

  And we can't even truly compare his first go at president of a republic as truly that since everyone's hands were tied--we were all in war that whole time! 20 freakin' years.

  That's a whole generation in average age difference.  Young people don't even know what socialism is, or an America not as a statue of war-bound.  And the world can't wait to rope us into that even more.  Then we'll have no choice about being something unique.  We'll just be smear.  War smear.

  When I said this thirty years ago Betty White made a funny and an admission...not really understanding "socialism" either.  JimBo Hannan managed a call-in on the topic.  He also spent some of the last years of his life wishing Trump wouldn't just say random stuff or jump on the buzzword bandwagon.

  But seriously sometimes despite our desires to be well, we are not.  Likewise we can become something and not know it.  I know some jerks like that.  And they can list a hundred excuses for why, but the why is not really the point as much as not being a jerk.  We all go through time periods together and transitions too.  And it's hard to force want to be well and being well in a cycle that just beats down.  Hard, but we have to keep doing it.

  Nor can we snap fingers and magically repair all this rundown, burnt out, rusty versions of strong.  It's not that kind of election.  It's more a phase of not being exactly what we were in response to 9112001.  It's heavy.  It's a lot of life spent in that mode.  And mysterious help, maybe some calgary gonna appear to help is part of the illusion wrapped up in the word slung around lately-- socialism.

  And we've got some smart Republicans in war mode against socialism but because we're using a technical term in a vague way like it's a bucket for witch things, they are creating more ways of being offensive and alienating.  That bothers me.  Nobody who is actually smart should be acting like that.  Call everyone but yourself ugly and see how many dates you get.

  What I conveyed to Betty was that it's easy to feel overwhelmed with people flinging theoretical around; just be you.  Others agreed, she was a tried and true American, a Patriot.  She and Queen Elizabeth even had ways of communicating through "media" to reflect on their feelings about being traditional in a "mod" world.  In fact, a lot of people got in on talking about what makes America different.  Adding appropriate humor was just what face-masked permafrowns needed to perk up.

  We did, like en masse consider the notion of being deathly afraid of I don't know what.  We even had some different culture similarities.

And now...

  We kind of put campaign mode away like Christmas.

  Younger and older we all know ourselves a little bit more.  Like completing a phase of high school or college.

  It's less externalizing of principles not not being who we are.

  It can seem pretty mundane.  I try and focus on quality.  Regardless of political, business needs people to do quality.  Quality is professional caring.

   Not really "choice".  The thing is in motion, so we have to work off up-to-date, which is that there are consequences for Iran.  It's heavy duty enforcement with powerful weapons in a war.  Unfortunately, warring broke out of battlefield and "theatre" at the turn of the century, so it's all over the world caution.  And it's loved ones and fellow citizens charged with the tasks/duty.

Tell him to get his fat ass

  Tell him to get his fat ass off the sofa 

  It doesn't work that well as a headline for global news.  I feel for the journalists that have to report what our presidents say.  Can't make it up, and can't interpret as journalists, so yeah, it's a challenge.

  But it's also why journalism has historically been a type of institution where there is process and discussion about selection and presentation of information.  And why there are different kinds of journalistic writing.

  Inking the sounds of a car race back in the days of early "new journalism" was shocking and didn't neatly fit into the usual categories of how people thought about truth writing....

  I know in our family our great white father was when we were growing up like maybe 74% Homer Simpson style or personality-wise and 26% dressed in suit and tie business-person.  We voted and suggested that Mom be our spokesperson.  Even she had her fed-up moments but we didn't put those kinds of quips in a newspaper.

  I think one of my Dad's most famous gaffs was when we went on a historical trip and he pulled into town driving that old station wagon and asked the traffic cop, "Where is the rock and the boat?" I was further shocked when Plymouth Rock was covered in grafitti.  Of course my reverent-of-colonial-past sensibilities were offended.

  The world was changing fast and hard by the 1970's but our parents did an extraordinary job of letting children be children.  That in and of itself was "new world".  Even that was arguable especially to the preceding generation who were born right into earning every penny and fighting for every iota of freedom to be an individual.

Can Care

  

Confirmed deaths, not controversy 

  While rumors abound and the media persists in being a mix of personal commentary with some fact, there is also the truth on the ground.  

  Like a war taking on all the weight of attending issues, our Country just spent four years gathering the steam of barely keeping heads above water.  I am not pessimistic though because of us.  Us workers, for example, have upheld routine and baseline economic sanity the whole way through plague and an impossibility of demands on our own lives.  It's taken an enormous amount of strength and determination!  And at the heart of that power has been caring.

  Even as places were beseiged by homelessness and drugs and not enough work for all of us, forced stagnant because of the money situations, and overwashed with seeming don't have to care...government's gonna take care of everything...everyone can just do what they want...it's been us citizens battling to keep things safe--owned and cared for.

  The disasterous weather of late summer has been a bone wearying blow to our overall spirit and security, yet we've managed to calm our political clamor enough to generally express a love of nation and what makes us one of the most God Blessed group of people in the world.  We may not have more than a few bananas left to eat but we've got a lot of compassion for humanity and passion for living in a country where so much is possible.

  We are still working through the finer points of price gouging, proper compensation for acts of God versus a dangerously empty federal funding honeypot, and people using products and services to make political jabs and stabs.  There's always gray area in transition and though no one has officially deemed us in a "war economy" yet, it's like we've been par boiled.

  There's also always been gray area in reporting "truth" as nations realign around the centers of black and white.  It's never okay (or legal) to report in journalism untruths, but in a state close to but not quite totally censored because of real war there is much that is not said or stated for the record.  A lot of the quasi-legal, second-hand-to-fact "talk" that goes around may not seem dangerous but it's basically like winging it on safety issues in the height of a storm...normally people wouldn't be standing around outside but there's an earthquake, foundation like that won't hold, roof shook off...our president just sort of got worn out....

  In our area there'd been a lingering gray area zone since the pandemic was like an earthquake.  What's changing us into more orderly is not strange quips from candidates, it's us getting our shit together!  From the dirt up people have really been motivated to prove survival and are in campaign mode--caring about the Republic despite exhaustion, change of season coughs and colds, and a real uncertainty about some of the stuff going on in the world.

  Uncertainty fuels strange quips.  Our overall context is a diversity of people functioning as Americans, so when there's not a strong Republic of Individuals, it's our context that gets jumbled.  There are a lot of reasons that got us less than strong America, but what's more important is moving forward as capable and not as an uncertain thing.

  We have been here before as a nation--part of "the West" and fires on flanks.  Everyone's role is actually more simplified in supporting each other and sticking together in a mostly defensive position.  Nothing about being American is uncertain.  And just like the economy sometimes gets blanched to the point of war economy--all sinks or swims--the objectives have to be on a priority list.  In that sense our controversial issues are not very different from the days when Abraham Lincoln looked out over people in a mosh of philosophical views who were physically destroying everything.  He himself had to keep pushing himself to hold the vision of America as an ideal always being made into an America of the day.

  There are times in our lives where we must serve the purpose of the greater good.  And this is at the heart of why people sacrifice their own "lives" for their children's future and the perpetuation of Republic.  It's being patriotic and that comes before quandry and emotions regarding a nondescript humanity.  Because the way through, the way to life besides battlefield is to defend nation that is not battlefield.

"Two truths"

  The wording of a person who was born Chinese and then adopted into an American family regarding "identity"; she feels like she holds two truths.

  That is the sort of mindset most people have to strive to accomplish.  It is, I think, having a humility about being human.  It certainly comes up for some of us in being social creatures jammed into these formulas concerning "victory".

  In our early adulthood there was also fierce fighting in the world and our hearts and minds were put through the ringer at each turn in the warring.  It's not just an emotional "roller coaster" when we hold the awareness of it being real people, our loved ones, caught in the consequences of war mode.  There is a necessary solemnity.

  What we can do.  We can be supportive of people tasked with work.  Especially regarding front lines in contentious situation it takes a lot of self control to not keep expressing ourselves--outrage to co-miserating, empathy, intelligence--all of that is valid for everyone, but not helpful in undoing a bomb.  Caring behind the front lines is helpful and that's how people forge real working-solution relationship.

  There's no denying that an American democracy is not for every type of country.  We can't force our way of life on others.  That's not to say we're not caring about all of humanity.  But in real war different countries have their own ways of fighting and surviving.  It's awkward to even give out input on a foreign war.  And staying out of it while being somewhat involved is worse than awkward.  We have to stay us.  And that may have to be a modified version of ourselves as the world is sifted as resource-based and political-military alliance.

  We're in a holding pattern at the moment even as other nations and regions are being dragged along by complex warring.  What's horrifying for most people is warring getting worse, or the worsening making everything unpredictable, so holding pattern is the best we could do at such a time.  And we do have to be "together" in moving out of holding pattern as one nation.

Duly nauseated

   A glance at world morning news today.  My own sense of vomit-welling.  Mostly because of two things.  The first is a photograph of some women dressed to the nines and having what looks like a girl chat like, oooooooo sehsey bone, he's so hot.  Problem is they are revel rousing with complicated topics like the topics are as disconnected from reality and people as whatever.

  They look like surfer girls chatting about the Big Flip.  Which is hardly assured and at best will be or would be different this time because of the other thing.  I mean really, they look like two little pale, fragile human beings on a tray and not knowing under the tray is the fires of hell.

  Like let's just have amnesia about twenty years of warring in the Middle East, let's pretend not to know that according to some Israel and Ukraine are fighting for survival.  Let's hot poker and really get a head start on, what gets called "deportation" (they're in Italy, maybe they quip, we'll give those nasty wasties the boot).  Not sure but it's air strikes and starvation wherever "deportation" is going to magically put them.

  Just so wrong.

  The war stuff is already all around us, so really it's just wrong to be flippant and careless and pom-pomming go team.  It's hard, flying blindly into a world war, to grasp the utter seriousness of what's going on and it's hard to get into that other mode, war, but out here, not on the pastry tray beach, the war stuff is already real.  We should be more mature.  If not for ourselves, for the rest of humanity.  

  They plead the case for censorship because it's already jihad and military commanders (commanding in infiltrated areas) having to operate amongst civilian population.  Much along the way to mind-numbing new styles of warring has already happened before election.  It's way too gravity-laden everywhere to go with that kind of party-sphere election.  Duh.

  We have to be confident not cocky!

  I thought we talked about being more like hockey moms for this situation.

  This is my brain shifting gears.  We have war-routine and other.  We had not much time in the other department.  Just enough to re-focus the binoculars, oh, saw a real bird of nature, then

  Sources like NPR have caught us up on developments.  The developments chugged through what "conversations" were possible.  Through TV and social media "conversations" are really more editorials and opinion pieces and commentary than anything else.  Elections will solidify some U.S. political action.  But war transcends being just political.

  It's something that happens to people as much as it is people making it happen.  It's also something chain reaction.  And it's not a one-sided thing.  So while we are a two-party-system politically and this forges us into "sides" of the same coin, we are also pitted as one nation in war with "enemy".

  In early stages of fighting in war both the enemy and selves are not as clearcut as when the warring develops.  It is now to be careful with fellows in the foxhole.  Tending to the homeland.  Doubling-down on faith anchors.  And assessing how decisions are interconnected; what would be different if....

  I think part of what's broken is like, hiding in party politics.  Philosophically, when one party plays king of the hill it invites disengagement if one can somehow get into the fortress.  Like "owning" the hill is the same as being with the levers controlling the missiles, story done.  Or having money is a pass on being part of world experience, that's a similar mindset.

 Philosophically, if one calls for and enacts a state of elimination, say of a problem nation, that changes things fundamentally into "the other" endeavoring to eliminate back.

  That speaks to both the situation in the Middle East and in Ukraine/Russia.  I think the United States is trying to at least hold some sort of stability, or has been.  Factors, though, have been pushing people towards something other than let's stabilize and live.  Factors are influencing military actions more so than actual people are having influence on military actions.  That way of warfare has a short trajectory culminating in warfare as dictator.

  There may be no way to get along.  No paradise of co-existence, but are we really wanting just all out death and destruction?

Two choices

  When our-agers were kids there was, in the way the internet offers, a ton of "stuff" all around us and we spent a lot of life deciding whether or not to say.  We were often stumbling into serious situation like serial killers and terrorism.  That stuff was just out of sight until we stepped into a day and the seeing and experiencing of it was just happening.  Back in the 1970's those two topics weren't truly developed fields of work.

  Into the 1980's we were also all put into a shelter somewhat guarding us against the Cold War.

  All through the 1970's and 1980's there was an established and well-tended "world" of literature and journalism that had the job/duty of monitoring information.  These professions stayed separate on purpose because it was so important to keep in pace with other professions having to do with safety and law.

  For sprints of time before official warring is called there seems to be total freedom to say anything but that can be dangerous to self and to nation.  It can also help multi-talented people hone their skills, connect with the people they will need to be connected with for such work, and/or build credentials.  That can seem painstakingly slow, especially in a world where people can stick nuclear warheads on any old missile, and disguise spying and other war moves in all kinds of AI, but as the world gets into a more formal stance, the disciplined will be in better stead.

  Um.  You could learn about the controversy surrounding the book News of A Kidnapping.

Yeah, the drugs and other criminal stuff too.  It was/is all around.  That's why so many people consider home sanctuary.  And why our parents went to such great lengths to raise us with standards and the gumption to understand the world as it is.  Not getting destroyed was a major focus of family and friendship.  Though early in life we were also competitive and seemed like everyone could get sucked into that.

  The other morning I was remembering a fierce competition with a boy that had it's moments of drama on par with great romance and war.  He was multi-talented and had natural access to the man's world so had some advantage in that sense.  But I had a way of really taking my time with writing craft and listening to people well.  Anytime we'd get close to, well, maybe we should work together, or help each other it brought out the worst in each of us.  Someone slightly older was beneficial in helping us see that and to each push ourselves to not be afraid to stand alone.  We actually almost got supportive of each other but then word went around and even reached us ten, eleven year olds...big story!

  But you have to come with me to get it.

  We each supersluethed our way to a "top secret" rendezvous point and realized the story-holder would have to pick one of us.  There was awkward silence and sweaty hands then.  Lo and behold we heard a helicopter coming.  And soon we could see it.  Then an emergency fireladder for a building dropped out and the helicopter made a pass, then another, and another.  It was in those few moments that I saw in myself that there was a magnetism of adventure that, for me, was more compelling than even love and bioligical drives like sex and house-keeping.  That pull that I always wrestle with and work hard at to balance with sanity and discipline.  We basically mauled each other to get onto that ladder and then tried to disintegrate the other in air.

  It was not pretty.  I did not win.  And the bruising took quite a while to heal.  Our friendship and prospect of marriage never did.

  It is about choice.  And also commitment.  People who choose to abide by the Ten Commandments, for example, are not choosing to instantly become "perfect".  That choice has its share of challenge and fight.  What we found in the 70's was that opening the Pandora's Box of leeway to the Ten Commandments has people constructing webs and worlds that can seem pretty complicated.  And that banding together as unique people with the common goals of nation built on bedrock of Ten Commandments and founding principles gives people the support each needs to be really American in a full-bodied sense.

  The eat my dust people will always do their thing their way.  That's just how it is.  That doesn't devalue everything else.  And as we discovered by the end of the 20th century, bitter competition in which only one thing "wins" is a trap that flatlines thinking people into commodities.  

  I've got to get to real work.  Organizing blog is more of a hobby these days!